the plight of a Villages newbie
They warned me of golf carts, of H-O-A rules
Of neighbors with grandkids who splash in the pools
But nothing foreshadowed the impending melee
The alphabet army was heading my way
Not a Scrabble-board storm, yet it blew in on cue
Before I’d unpacked, my peace took a hit
A blizzard of letters came flying, unfit!
First three-letter acronyms, like mosquitoes at night
V-M-A, D-A-C, E-V-F, what a fright!
Then a four-letter barrage began pummeling me
ABOD, CBOD, V-G-C-C!
They buzzed in The Villager and in golf cart queues
In chats with each neighbor I happened to choose
Battered and beaten, worn down to the nub
I sought refuge in the Villages Men’s Fun Social Club
“Join us for lunch, it’s a safe place to stay
We’ll keep those darn acronyms far, far away!”
But here in The Villages, there’s nowhere to hide
They’re flung from each foursome, each pickleball side
For that warm, friendly men’s club, just as nice as could be
Was known, omigod, as V-M-F-S-C!
Could there be no escape from this alphabet fray?
“If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” my father would say
Now I’ve joined the Villages Acronym Club
The V-A-C that meets at the old Bistro pub
And I fling all those letters with devilish glee
At baffled newcomers who stare blankly at me
Newcomers Guide to Villages Acronyms
TLA: Three-Letter Acronym. Short, sharp, annoying. Smile knowingly.
ETLA: Extended Three-Letter Acronym. Fatal if untreated. Seek professional
help.
HETLA: Hyper-Extended Three-Letter Acronym. Resistance is futile. Surrender.